keep on pouring

The rain is supposed to keep me alive.
But today why am I maddened by its presence
Why do I feel like I'm dying inside
Knowing I should be in a happy state

For most I should celebrate
It's another year for me
Another opportunity
To correct the past mistake

In my mind I had it that way
Another day another year
I am most grateful it came

I just can't help but give more time to think things over
Moreso I can't help the tears that are flowing
Together with the rain they kept on pouring
How come the state of happiness which I should feel became a tearful state that made me grow weaker.