Miyerkules, Enero 29, 2014

The Perfect Crime

...

The Perfect Crime


What is more rewarding than seeing that special person's smile on that one special moment that is just so ordinary for him.  It is worth it.


It was planned, but not that I expected it to be that big.  It took me less than two weeks to finalize the things, actually there were last minute (literally) preppies that I didn't expect would come out so easily. At first, it's a tough thing to do for I know that time, distance and budget constraints were really part of it...but with love and determination, what could it not reach? :)


I believe that the timing is just right, and having the right kind of people whom i got by my side added to it. Having the right kind of friends who even beyond health condition and heavy emotional baggage would still do the favor for me is really something. And i just don't know how to thank them enough for being so supportive -- Timmy and Ellen. I love them from the moment i met them and be with them and somehow part of their love for me was once again proven for what they just did.  I owed them big time.


Really planning for a surprise is never that easy, especially if it's intended to someone with whom you cannot hiding anything.  But this time, he's clueless.  Unlike the past year, he had the idea of his birthday but this one was really different.

Imagine the courage I have just to get through all of those for someone who wasn't used to getting surprises in his entire life. I am breaking the rule for him.  Honestly, my head ached, and my heart lurched. I did not know what to do.  Days passed by so quickly that I am literally running out of time. I have no means of making this easy. But when it's really the right time, it will turn out perfectly.  

First part is the Ultimate Card.  I looked for people.  I thought of the contents of the card, who will write in it. It seemed so easy but no, not really. The contents of the card were not that planned at all. But was able to finally finish its content. Even the messages i put there was such a rush but came out well.. I've got the dilemma of how it will be signed by the people closest to our hearts because my two accomplices were having schedule conflicts and all i can do is to hope and cross-finger that it will eventually be signed by them.  And they did.


Next is the cake. At first i preferred it to be something special, not the common cakes that we can see.  But after some research, special cakes are a bit expensive.  The next day I thought of trying 30 pieces of homemade cupcakes with designs of his face or of cats. I have contacted two of my good friends who could bake it for me, willing to even teach me and do some for me but they suggested to buy the usual cake instead -- theirs are pricey too, really.  So I looked for 2 bakeshops that would deliver but only one of them could possible do it.  One of my good friends from Cabuyao suggested that they would buy it for me, just asked me the instructions and the message in the cake. The one who bought the cake haven't slept yet and is unwell but really did it for me. She went and bought and followed what i had said and it turned out well and perfect.


And then the day came. Good thing that it's Australian day and we have nothing to do. I can really think things over and talk to them while it's idle.


The card was given.  People were noisy on their bay/post because of the card, more so when two of our bosses, who seemed to be my accomplices, Boss Jing and Boss April presented the cake and the noise became cheers and greetings.  The plan for that morning was successful.

i just can’t contain my happiness that I wanted to shout upon knowing how he reacted to that surprise.  I may not be able to witness the moment, but my heart jumps right here upon knowing it's a success.  It's bliss. :)

He had called it "an organised crime".  So, then it's a "crime".


It didn't end there, though. The surprise moved on as I hired another accomplice to do the job for me. It must not be as hard as I thought knowing that that person is no other than the closest man in his life -- his brother.  I texted his brother the night before, asking him favors. I had him prepared balloons and party hats. The day of the crime, the whole morning until the execution, we did communicate.  It almost didn't happen.  It was that morning that the “Victim” had to leave early from the office when his VTO was approved, it was 11:00 am. My accomplice and I were talking over and told him that his kuya is going home now. By 2:00 pm, Randy (his brother) texted me that he will be home by 4:00 pm. After hours of waiting, he then texted me that he was on his way and was able to buy party hats and balloons. I was relieved. But then the “Victim” was already home, yet surprised upon seeing that Randy had bought him the things we needed. It was a kiddie party for a 30-year-old boy.

Flashback: Two days before the "Crime", I was talking to another person closest to him as well – one of his best friends. It would be much better if the other best friend was here, but since he’s overseas, I planned on contacting him through Skype.  But then that seemed impossble.  Good thing that I was able to speak to one of his best friend, Kuya John, my last accomplice. We planned on the food we have to cook, of what we have to prepare. Those two days and until the day itself, we were talking and texting until we have decided that he will cook for him. And the setup was just in my end.

So that day, I went to Alabang to firstly meet his bestfriend, securing things were okay.  We will pretend that we don't know anything until i gave him the go signal that it's time to "invite" the "victim" to come over his house.. I left Kuya John's house and went to the “victim’s” house where surprises awaits. I saw his brother outside and told me that his kuya had no idea that I’ll be coming but had a bit of a hint that I will. So we bought another 5 balloons and two party hats for me and Randy and off we go. I covered myself with the balloons and when he opened the door, was surprised by my presence.

Little did he know that before that actually occurred, here in the office I was a bit frustrated for not inviting me to celebrate with him. It’s a secret, though.

He gave me a 30-second hug. And words of gratitude. That was the best 30-second hug yet I have received from him, and the happiest.


He thought that that was the end of it.


So I texted Kuya John and asked him to call the “victim” for us to proceed with the finale. I acted that I didn't know anything.  So when we went to Kuya John's house, at first I let him talk with his bestfriend, then Kuya John called me to then move on with the celebration. He cooked pasta and we have cake for him too. We invited some K1x boys. To his surprise, that it was also part of the celebration thing. He then teases me, smiling at me and spanking me with his bandana. He was surprised all the same. Even told me that I have a lot of explaining to do, really a lot. I just replied with a smile. So then we ate and laugh and took pictures.


Then the finale was a gift I bought weeks before his birthday. I didn't really think I could buy that. But during the time that we were at that mall, I said to myself that I will give him something. So when I got the chance, i bought it for him. Somehow, it reminded him that “Time, just like love, is important to me.”


****

The cost of loving someone isn't really something that I would put into figures, nor can be calculated nor can be price tagged. The cost of loving someone is beyond any amount..it is given without asking for a change. The cost of loving someone is no cost at all. It is priceless. It is precious. It is willing to give more when not asked. It is giving without expecting.


So on 27 January 2014, under the bright full moon of that cold night, I have done the Perfect Crime I will never regret.  No bail needed.  I would love to be imprisoned to that 30-year-old heart of a willing victim by the name of Dubai Fornillos-Dol -- and I am Guilty.


Miyerkules, Enero 01, 2014

Isolation

Hurt and incomplete
Felt the air so cold and crisp
The moment of solitude
Is everywhere, it is somehow misunderstood

Midnight blue sky
Inviting, invigorating
Yet left the good things
To hide under the sheets

It is painful, especially heartbreaking
Seeing them in such a happy state
Hearing them singing the sweetest melody I’ve ever heard
It is harsh, it is great, it is melancholic, it is dead.

With great endurance still pain was felt
There is no turning back to the crest
The lights and the sounds are gone and the laughter now unheard
In this four-cornered room the shadow is forever held

Huwebes, Disyembre 26, 2013

pagpapalit at pagbabago...

 ....

dingdingdingding! 

tumutunog na ang batingaw. akala ko ay kung anu lamang malakas na dagundong mula sa di kalayuan.
alas-kwatro y media pa lang ng madaling-araw pero maririnig mo na ang mga kaluskos ng mga taong paroon sa dakong malawak. tanghali na iyon. marahil dapat ay alas-tres pa lang gumayak na para di na abutan agad ng haring palaging sumisikat.

huling umaga ng misa de gallo. ramdam na agad ang papalapit na pagpapalit ng taon. marami sa ilan ay napapailing na lang. madami kasing delubyo ang dumaan. mga natural na pangyayare, may isinisilang, may namamatay. may karahasan, may mga kasong di nasosolusyunan. at may mga di mawari pang pangyayaring ayaw nang balikan.

pero sa mga oras na eto, tumigil na ang pagtunog ng batingaw. nais ko na uling bumulusok sa higaan para ituloy ang naunsyaming pagtulog. sabay ng pagpalahaw ng isang masiglang awitin ng pamasko. mula sa kapitbahay na di mo malaman kung sadyang masaya sa araw na eto o nais lang makasagupa muli ung huling taong humabol ng taga sa kanya. hmmm..pasko. isang linggo na lang magpapalit na ang taon. ano na nga ba ang inabot ng buhay ko sa nagdaang taon? marami. ano kaya ang masisilayan ko sa paparating na taon? mas madami.

karaniwan nang tanawin un mga nagtitinda ng lusis sa kalsada.. mula sa kinamulatan kong watusi hanggang sa naglalakihang Yolanda at Napoles na mga firecrackers, ang Bagong Taong pinoy ay klasiko pa din sa aking paningin. samu't saring pagbabawal man ang gawin ng mga lokal na pamahalaan naten, pag nasipitan lang ng kakaunting orange o pula o byolet na papel, ayos na, tuloy ang ligaya! di naman na nga kasi mawawala pa ang paputok sa buhay ng mga tao. mula noon at sa mga susunod pang henerasyon, laging meron at meron mapuputulan ng daliri, paa, braso at iba pang parte ng katawan (take your pick!) o maging buhay pa (kala kasi buy 1-take 1 ang life) ayan tuloy, kumikita ng husto un mga taga-gawa (mga hindi lehitimong taga-gawa lalo) habang madaming pamilyang umiiyak  sa pagsalubong sa bagong taon...tsk! isang sinturon ni hudas pa nga jan! 

minsan nais nating tumigil ang oras pag papalapit na ang pasko at bagong taon. yun iba nagmamadali nang magpalit ang taon kasi madaming plano para sa taong paparating. pero ako, nais kong hilahin pabalik un taon at dahan-dahanin lang ang pag-usad nito.  nung nauso nga ung mga instant-instant na bagay, aba pati buhay instant na din. instant noodles, instant baby, instagram, hahaha...mas madali nga naman...kasi lahat halos isang click na lang anjan na sa harapan (pwede bang pati bf? ahahaha). pero nakakatakot ang mga bagay na nadadaan sa madalian. karaniwan nang instant din ang paglisan. mas masarap yung pinaghihirapan, pinagtyatyagaan hanggang makamtan, hinihintay kahit tinitignan ka na ng mundo na naghihintay sa wala. mas gusto ko pa rin talaga yung pansit, yung baby pagkatapos ikasal, yung picture na hinayaan mong madevelop kasi may backup pa kung sakali man mawala yun hard copy. kahit sa bf ayoko nang nagkabunggo lang, kayo na. pwede bang mga nagbungguang puso na lang muna? :)

sa pagpapalit ng taong 2013 to 2014, hindi lang naman yun selebrasyon ang inaabangan ng lahat. kagaya ko. eto yun parte ng taon (huli at una) na talagang matutulala ako, habang kinakain ko un paborito kong tsokoleyt cake at red wine, nakatunghay lang sa papawirin na may iba't ibang fireworks display. (sosyal; mtv lang ang peg!) di nga, ganun talaga peg ko ng yearend bago ako makikihalubilo sa mga tao sa labas at sasalo sa media noche at walang katapusang family picture :( -- kulang kasi kami ng isa...

back to you. eto yung panahon na pinagbubulay-bulayan ko ang mga nangyari ng 364 days at may pagkakataon na matatawa ako, maiiyak, magiging seryoso.. mapapaisip muli. kasi sabi ko, naging mabuti ba akong tao sa loob ng 364 days? o kaya 364 din kaya na tao ang nasaktan ko? or may napangiti man lang ba ako? may nagawa man lang ba ako para sa ibang tao? tapos kakastiguhin ko un sarili ko sa mga mumunti at malalaking pagkakamaling naisip, nasabi at nagawa...at gagawan ng paraan na hindi man mawala ng tuluyan pero mabawasan para sa taong darating.  sa lahat din ng araw sa buong isang taon, bukod as birthday ko (minsan nga di pa) eto ang pinakamdramang araw, un 31st 11:59 to 1st 12:01. haha. ewan ko ba. siguro kasi literal na past na ang 2013 pag tuntong ng kamay ng orasan ng 12:01 2014 na!, at ibig sabihin isang mabilis na ulit na paglalakbay patungo sa taong dosmil-katorse ang matutunghayan sa buhay ko.

pero sa puntong iyan, hindi talaga maaalis na malapit na din ang pagtuntong ko sa ika-tatlong dekada ng buhay ko sa mundo. at yun ang inaabangan ko ng may kaba at saya. magkahalo. nakakatakot. parang paputok lang. parang regalong bubuksan...parang click lang ng camerang may film. parang post lang sa FB na di mo naman pinapansin.

gabi na.
liwanag na lang ng parol ang nakabukas.
di na pasko bukas.
ihanda na ang mga lusis, torotot at mga pampaingay.
salubungin ang bagong taon ng may bagong buhay.